Fantastic and Five!

My girl is 5 years old today! Isnt' she great? We all love her so much. We love her dancing, her fashion sense, her insightful questions, like "Why do people need to sleep? Is it because they have to have dreams?" ( she really got me with that one!). We love her passion, her imagination, her art work, her jokes, the way she loves and plays with her brother and new baby sister. She is our very most favorite Savannah! Happy Birthday my girl!

Weepy

For days now I have had this...well it can only be described as weepy. Anything and everything could very easily cause the tears to engage and the heart to beat at a heavy aching pace. I am emotional over commercials, tiny moments with my kids, seemingly "harmless" conversations with my husband. He continues to watch the smallest changes in my face to determine wether now is a good time to talk to me about weekend plans, work updates, or baby excitement. Three pregnancies with me has molded him into a cautious, overprotective, and gentle husband. I sure love that man! Its almost over honey!
But here is what I've decided...these symptoms of pregnancy: overly emotional, weepiness, nesting, fits of frustration are only a "symptom" because thats the natural resulting response when you take a perfectly capable, independent, attractive woman and turn her life upside down. You add 20-40 extra pounds on her already (not so perfect) body. This weight affects not just her self esteem but her ability to move and maintain her life as she knew it. Suddenly everything from the waste down can't be cleaned the way she'd like, the tiny McDonalds toys escape her practiced hand because well she can't bend down that far! But its not just the things below that confound her now. No! The things above her head, for instance cupboards...her belly actually shortens her reach now too! And forget grabbing a stool to get to the rarely used food dehydrator. The stool will be her demise if she risks her unevenly proportioned self on top of the tiny pedestal. And thats just the house cleaning overview. What about chasing after toddler children? Forget it....its not happening. Here is where the fits of frustration enter. She has lost her temper and her sanity...and her kids in terror slowly and cautiously approach what is usually their mom. Then the weepiness begins...guilt....oh the guilt! "Mommy just doesn't feel good and its not your fault. I'm sorry mommy scared you! Please don't run away from scarey mommy again!" Yeah right! And then that process repeats over and over again as that belly gets bigger and she finds herself limited even more. Until, like myself, she is reduced to mostly weepy because all the things she used to take pride in: her appearance, her ability to organize her home, to clean her home, her ability to be a good mom, a good wife, are not only compromised they seem completely gone! So doctors you call it a symptom, I call it a big mean trick! Thank heavens that within the first year of the new babies life you regain all those things again. Just takes time.

94 Years of Livin...Why am I in such a hurry??

As most of you know I am very pregnant right now and had to quit work as a precaution because of my unpredictable dizzy spells. These dizzy spells have interrupted a number of plans and goals I've had and have been a great source of irritation for me. Somedays they don't seem to happen at all and then other days its constant. So I've learned some tricks that help me cope. The most important of these (and the most often overlooked)is SLOW DOWN! How many times have I learned that being in a hurry makes the dizziness worse...I run out of breath... my body really can't go that fast right now and yet I still continue to push it. The phone rings I feel this urgency to answer it...why? So I don't get to it in time, isn't that why I have an answering machine. I wake up in the morning and take inventory of my wreck of a house and panic...."there is so much to do today I better hurry!" I tell myself. Does it all need to be done today? Is it so urgent that every dish is done by 10am ? If I do meet that goal by noon will they still be done??? Nope. So why the hurry?? So much of what I am in a hurry for is classified under general maintenance... which logic would tell you will always require you to maintain it...it can never be described as done. My nesting tendency has also kicked in a great deal much to my husbands amusement (and I'll be honest occasionally his irritaion as well) I feel this need to clean and organize the utensil drawer. Organize my kids dresser drawer and I hear this clock ticking in my head counting down the seconds until this wonderful baby will be here and I want it all to be done before she comes. Done! Not possible is it. What is the worst that can happen if I haven't cleaned behind the bunk beds? A number of socks will be missing their mates and the stale popcorn back their will continue its process of decay. But the funny thing is they'll be there no matter when I get to that. In a year those socks will still be there if I can't manage to get to it now. What is my hurry? I decided to repeat, as a montra, what I learned from working in a nursing home "Actually life is really long!" That doesn't mean procrastinate what you can do, but lighten up on the things you can't get to yet....life is long! So I got curious "How long?" I looked it up here at http://www.livingto100.com/ and answered some pretty easy questions and found out I'm expected to live to 94! I'm going to turn 28 in a week...I've got 66 years to get to that stale popcorn...easy does it Rachel....slow and steady wins the race!

Date Night on a Budget

We had the best time! I find that when we don't have our kids it gives us the opportunity to be kids ourselves! We are more spontaneous, and much more fun! We were at a loss for what to do with our freedom when some friends needed to borrow Joes truck to pull out a stump. Due to past experience with this we strapped on our protective head gear revved up the engine and had a ball. We even got the 100 year old dead maple out of their yard too! The thing behind us is the top part of the huge root ball we un-earthed!! Thanks for always showing me a good time honey! I'll pull stumps with you any time!

Happy Easter!

I went to run some errands and this is what my family was up to while I was gone. I think the kids were in good hands, don't you? I love that their daddy hasn't totally grown out of his childhood. He's an awesome dad.

Other highlights of today:
I counted how many times the phone rang today from 8am to 8pm.... 26 times. I hate the phone. I hate telemarketers. I hate when I answer the phone and no one is there because the automated system that dialed the call has failed and repeatedly wasted my time.

I decided to finally roast that turkey that I have had sitting in the freezer. I had never done it before 10 lb turkey according to my research should be done cooking in 4 hrs. We were supposed to eat at 6pm....no turkey until about 8:30pm I made tuna helper at 7pm....we'll have turkey tomorrow :)

And as a fine finale, Savannah took a dive off the bunk bed and landed on her face. I didn't see it happen but she screamed and screamed. Her nose was bleeding by the time I got there and it took it a good 10 minutes to quit. Poor thing, her nose swelled up and her top lip. You can kinda see it in the pictures. A little tylenol later and she was back to her bouncy self. Poor Chase got the raw end of the deal he was napping in the bed below her and woke up to her cries of terror and pain. He was scared to death, and all the blood, he was so worried about his sister and he kept looking at me like, "is everything okay mom? It doesn't seem okay?! Have you got this under control?"


All in a days work right?

The Honeymoon is over

I like to think that I have been a pretty involved mom since going to work for the last year. I told myself that I was in the know about their lives and demands and day to day behavior. It has been a year since I have been home with them full time. The last time this was the case, Chase had barely learned to walk and the brother/sister dynamic, only in the beginning phases. It turns out that while I saw them everyday in that last year and interacted with them as much as I could before and after work....I still missed a lot. I am going to show you a behind the scenes look at life at our house. You mothers (bless your hearts) will not be surprised by what you witness and I'm sure it will not phase you. But I, in truth, after having had children now for 4 years, suddenly find myself feeling a little green! Like I'm a rookie in the toddler on toddler brawl and have somehow forgotten just how hard the daily grind of life at home as Mommy really is. How do you forget that! At one point a couple days ago I said to myself, "I'm ready to go back to work I need a break!" So, heres to you Mama's, whose finest hours are spent in the care of the little ones you adore, and you may or may not be recognized for that on a daily basis. I salute your accomplishments, and am (after regaining my resolve) glad to be counted among you.